we have pet lesbian snakes
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize