You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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