I cannot find my penis.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Bring me that man meat
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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