no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize