party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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