Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
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pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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