If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize