he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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