Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
