It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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