I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Small penises have feelings too.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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