At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
