if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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