i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
