he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize