Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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