i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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