yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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