The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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