im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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