when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
