There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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