Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
