Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I am mentally ready for anal.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize