i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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