they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
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I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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