Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
