Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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