so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Randomize
