Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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