Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Fuck appropriateness.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
