she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
