Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
