You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
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