It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
