AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
