i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?