the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.