Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan