SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.