is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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