Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
