Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
