my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
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Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You took a bar mat shot.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
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THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.