Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize