I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
