i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize