oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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