Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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