He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
