During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Need sex. Gaining weight.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Shame - the story of my life.
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