He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
our cab driver is having phone sex.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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