I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
