she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
