we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
