Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
