i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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