I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
