Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
