woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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