So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
